Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ

This Frequently Asked Questions section provides answers to the most common questions individuals have about personal development, life, and meditation.

Why would I want to hire a personal coach? I think I can do things on my own.

Coaching offers you the opportunity to speed up your growth and development. It is easier to change what you know, but impossible to change what you don’t know. Good coaching shows you what you don’t know and provides some guidance and direction on how to make the necessary changes.

Are you looking for help using meditation to decrease stress and increase your productivity?

If you want to learn now to meditate, I have a couple of suggestions. First, try one of my guided meditation mp3 downloads. These programs will teach you how to focus, quiet your mind, and calm your emotions.

Stress has a powerful negative impact on the body, emotions and mind. Meditation is one of the most productive methods to reduce stress. There are a lot of scientific studies to support this.

Once your stress level is lowered, you will find that your mind is more focused and your decision-making ability improves. Studies have shown that those who meditate are also more satisfied at work, are more productive, and have better working relationships.

Try to find someone or a group that meditates. Their energy will help you go deeper and be calmer. It often takes a few months to learn how to do this, so don’t give up. Keep working on your meditation practice and be patient. Also, learn some simple breathing techniques that will help you as well.

Suggested Resources

Meditation Training

Stress Reduction

I’d like to find someone who can help me break through barriers to help me succeed at business.

Often we get stuck in our relationships or in our business practices because of things we do not know. It is easier to change something when we are aware of the issue. The problem is greatest when we do not even know what we don’t know. Then, it is impossible to self-adjust and make the needed necessary changes. This is when you really need a coach, teacher, or somebody who can help you perceive the deeper issues.

Ideally, you need a coach/teacher who has both business acumen and transformational skills. I have helped thousands of individual world-wide transform their lives in and out of the business world. I have worked with the Executive Team at Ebay, Windstar, Self-Realization Fellowship, St Joseph Center in Venice, CA, World Academy for the Future of Women, and others. When you learn to move through personal barriers and gain a different perspective, you will find everything around you changes as well.

I feel lost and have no direction. What can I do?

Everyone has a purpose in life. We lose site of that purpose when we lose our connection with our deeper self or Soul. When you feel lost, take some time to turn inward. Learn to become still and listen from within your heart. Get you mind out of the way and trust that you will be given guidance and direction. You need to be patient and learn to sit still in the silence for at least an hour at a time. Constantly ask for direction and listen to what the Universe brings to you. If you can, spend some time in nature away from TV, cell phones, and electronics. Allow the presence of nature to heal your and take you deeper into your true nature.

Remember, patience is a virtue. Give yourself and the Universe a little time to respond.

Meditation is a proven method to get past the mind and open to an inner peace and expanded awareness. Use the tools on this site to help you.

I feel alone and sad lately. Any advice?

When we lose our inner connection to God and our soul, we can feel cut- off, isolated, and alone. This is not a joyful state. Even if we are around people, we can feel separate and disconnected.

The answer is not to search outside yourself for more company and outer distractions. You may need a little retreat to redirect your connection to an inner world of love and joy that awaits you in the silence. You will have to pass through some layers of grief, sadness and loneliness to get there. You have to redirect your consciousness to areas within that are not the mind and ego, but the deeper self. Kriya Yoga is a powerful way to do this. Once you have shifted your energy from the surface to the depths of your soul, then you will feel the wholeness, love, and comfort that is your true nature.

I have heard a lot about mediation. How does it work?

I have a 40 minute video which discusses meditation. It is part of the “Member’s Area” if you are interested in seeing it.

This is the short version. Meditation uses your breath and awareness to redirect your attention and energy in order to calm your mind. When your mind is calm, your energy becomes more positive and flows into the higher centers of your brain. Meditation is more than relaxation. Taking a shower and riding a bike are great, but they are not meditation. Meditation is a practice that allows you to move beyond the limitations and restrictions of body consciousness, your mind, and ego. Advanced meditation techniques allow you to internalize your life force energy and draw them up to the higher centers of the brain. The result is peace, love, joy and enhanced mental discrimination. When you meditate, you breath slows down which lowers your heart rate. A great technique for lowering heart rate, blood pressure, and stress.

Meditation allows you to perceive the difference between your ego and your soul. Identification with your ego separates you from your deeper self and God. Consciousness, which is awakened in meditation, is more than your mind, emotions, and body. When you learn how to really be aware of your “inner life,” you can easily discern the difference between you as the conscious being, and the more superficial aspects of your being such as your thoughts and emotions. We tend to identify with these outer aspects and really believe that is all we are. Don’t let yourself get lost in delusion. Go deeper to discover your true nature!

Devotion along with a meditation practice opens a new inner world and works like a magnet to draw God’s Grace.

The breath is used as a vehicle to focus awareness and disengage from the outer distractions of the mind. The techniques are simple, but we often find our ego resisting the practice. We find excuses not to meditate and stay consumed by our outer world.

I have several meditation CD’s or mp3 audio programs that will teach you how to meditate.

What is the value of silence?

There is a saying, “Silence is Golden.” There is a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of the rainbow, and the rainbow ends inside you. Silence allows us to deeper our experience within ourselves and with others. Silence allows us to actually listen and hear the deeper messages that people are communicating. Silence allows us to access our intuition and hear the deeper wisdom that is within us.

How often do we attempt to tell someone something, only to be interrupted? The result: the moment is lost and we don’t go deeper. Silence can open a new world. Silence is not a waste of time. It can be very productive.

The path of silence leads us down a road that quiets the heart and mind and brings us peace and joy. Try spending some time without talking or listening to music or the TV. Don’t text, email or distract yourself. Just be with yourself and listen to your breath, be aware of your thoughts, and let them pass without any judgment, attachment or reaction.

You will find the silence will help you solve problems, be calmer and improve your relationships with others.

Please read my complete article, “On Silence,” if you would like a more extensive discussion on this.

My mother died at an early age. It broke my heart. Why would God do this to me? I prayed and prayed for her healing, but she died anyway?

Death of a loved one is a real heart breaker. There are subtle energies that connect heart-to-heart that are pulled out when someone dies. The grief and the pain in that process sometimes seem almost unbearable.

Life is more complicated than it appears. We come here with a history and a plan, and we leave when the soul has completed it purpose and lessons for a particular lifetime. This process is the result of past actions which created new circumstances. This karma is the result of our free will and the choices we have made in the past.

God created this world and gave us free choice. So, God is not trying to punish or hurt you in any personal way. Your mother left because it was her time. This play of forces is very real for us and does hurt when we are identified with this reality. It is rare that death is delayed or spared, but does happen based upon our own particular karma. I sometimes feel angry at God for creating such a drama that seems so real to us, but realize the specific events are the result of human actions and choices.

I hope you do not lose faith because of the loss of your mother. If you go deep inside you will feel and perhaps even see her. The vast gulf between life and death does not exist when consciousness is awakened. While we miss our loved ones in daily life, the pain can be softened when we make contact with them on the inside.

Try to find a teacher who has moved past the illusion of life and death and perhaps they will be able to help you open your inner life and feel her presence.

Why would I want a guru? Sounds like a bunch of cult talk to me.

There is a lot of misunderstanding about the purpose and nature of a Guru. Most people think Guru means teacher or perhaps someone who is an expert in his or her field. We hear the term golf guru, or financial guru for instance. The online merriam-‐webster dictionary gives the following definitions:

• a personal religious teacher and spiritual guide in Hinduism.
• a teacher and especially intellectual guide in matters of fundamental concern.
• one who is an acknowledged leader or chief proponent.
• a person with knowledge or expertise.

From this point of view, anyone who has apparent knowledge can serve in the function of a guru. There are many teachers who purport to have great knowledge and present themselves as viable teachers. It is true that any student with a desire to learn will gain something from any circumstance. Anyone can provide information and be a helpful teacher. However, if a student is serious about the process of awakening and wants to obtain full enlightenment, then information from a good teacher is not enough.

Since we are focused upon Awakening Consciousness and the path for self-‐realization, then the issue of a guru takes on special importance. The Sanskrit term, guru, means the dispeller of darkness. The guru is one who takes the disciple from darkness, ignorance to light, or realization of truth. A true guru provides a much more profound purpose than just providing information.

We have discussed the nature of consciousness as energy and the process of transformation of consciousness as the transformation of energy. We have also discussed the unified nature of consciousness and how energy is interconnected throughout the universe. A teacher who has full realization of the infinite vibrates at a higher frequency

than one who has not achieved personal realization. A true guru is able to influence, in a positive way, a disciple’s consciousness through the simple sharing of energy. Attunement between the disciple and guru is what deepens this process. The guru’s consciousness is what makes the difference, not what he or she says, but who they are. A true guru’s vibration can also be transmitted through his or her written word.

Read Complete Article in Member’s Area

My kids play competitive sports. They are great in practice, but don’t play at their potential in competition. What can I do as a parent to help them?

Please look at my latest book, Learning to Win: Coaching the Junior and Collegiate Golfer. This is a comprehensive look at coaching for competitive play. It applies to all sports. Competitive play is different from practice or playing for fun. It requires more concentration, mental strength and endurance, a strong competitive instinct, and a positive belief about oneself. You will find the answers to all your questions in this book.

My husband/wife/child/friend is dying. It is breaking my heart. What can I do?

Death of a loved one is the most difficult thing we have to experience. Their passing literally breaks our heart. Sometimes, the pain seems unbearable.

First, just breath when the pain comes, it will pass. Over time it becomes less.

Allow yourself to grieve. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. wrote some great books on the process. Move through the emotions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. If you feel angry at God, express it. He/She can take it. Sometimes it helps to talk to people about your feelings. It will speed up the process of grieving.

Spend time in deep meditation and access the realms of inner light. There is a peace and love in that Light that is healing to the soul, mind, emotions and body. It will give you the strength to be with your loved ones during this painful process.

Make peace with your life. Forgive them for any hurt they may have caused you. Forgive yourself for any harm you may have done them.

Let them go. If they are really dying, they need to move on. If you are emotionally holding on, it can keep them from moving on. Accept this aspect of life and trust that your life will continue.

Develop a strong inner life that is awake and you will be able to feel your loved one’s wherever they are. This helps to soften the sense of loss. You may still miss them in your everyday life, but you will feel less separated from then on the inside.

Let yourself just be with your loved one. You don’t have to “do” something to help them. Your presence is a great gift and comfort. They will feel your love and be nurtured by it.

How can I know if God is real?

I believe it is important to have a real relationship with God to have real faith. Blind faith is based upon what you have heard and read. Real faith is the result of direct experience.

First, you have to ask for God to reveal Herself/Himself to you.
Then you must learn how to listen. Spend time in silence (no TV, internet, iphones, and texting) and learn how to quiet your mind (meditation). Go deep within when the mind and emotions are still.
Develop a devotional attitude. Find ways to express your love for God in devotional singing, heartfelt ceremonies, and constant remembrance.
Spend time with others who have a real relationship with God. The value of good company is priceless.
Look for changes in your inner life. Do you feel more peace, love, and joy in everyday life? These are aspects of God.
Learn to think about others and develop an attitude of service.
Learn to surrender and accept what comes to you.
Be grateful for what you have.
Express appreciation to those around you.

Do all these things and you will see the manifestation of God within you, all around you, everywhere.

Why do some people get anxious when they meditate? I thought it was supposed to make you calm.

Meditation helps you to look inside yourself. If you have upset feelings from traumatic events that you are trying to avoid, you will feel them when you calm down and look inside. Sometimes people feel the emotions they have repressed during the meditation. If they do not want to remember these things or have those feelings, they get nervous and stop meditating. If you can talk about those feelings with your parents or a counselor, you will feel better and find a deeper place of peace within you.

What has Research has shown regarding the positive benefits of meditation?

Improvement in:

Creativity
Academic performance
Memory and perception
Self-confidence
Longevity
Stress, heart disease, and cancer immunity
Relationships
Work productivity
Job satisfaction
Overall hospitalization rate 56% lower than general U.S. population.
Average meditator saw a doctor half as often as the average American.

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